Paste your Suspenseful Beginning into this doc then continue writing the rest of the narrative. Your Suspenseful Beginning should set the tone for the rest of your writing.
Your story should include the following.
- Character dialogue
- Correct punctuation
- Descriptive language that includes the senses (see, hear, smell, taste, feel)
It’s a deathly silent night, only having the sound of thunder as it booms across the sky and the eerie whistle in the wind, it sounds… familiar. The moon shines brightly through the clouds with an ominous feel. The drops of rain falling from the sky have a hint of blood. It also has a death-like smell emanating from the corpses laid on the cathedral grounds. Dusk Haroldson or Saint Dusk is a man in his 40’s, he has straight Black hair with grey and white strands of hair, a dark blue suit with a white shirt underneath. He’s a bishop of the Saint John’s cathedral or what’s left of it. He begins to raise an eyebrow as he harkens over if he made the right choice. He then says with a cold voice “Why did I do this to myself, why?!” Then he turns around and goes into prayer and suddenly a mighty lightning bolt strikes the cathedral and all the candles go out. The cathedral doors open to a bone chilling wind from the outside. A dark silhouette with red glowing eyes and a decrepit smile holding a corpse darkens the doorsteps of the cathedral.
The silhouette is illuminated by the moon in the sky, shining ever so radiantly. Throwing the body on the floor, it slams on the floor and makes an unflattering splat sound then the figure shuts the doors and moves towards Dusk. Dusk ignores it even though he’s a little shocked, he counties praying as the figure walks towards him. Dusk mutters his prayer and I quote “The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. The figure comes to a halt, right behind Dusk. As the moon shines through the blood stained glass of the hall, the figure’s hair is revealed to be White and grey hair while his unnatural red eyes glitter and pearly white teeth glow through the darkness. “Hello brother” says the figure in a joyful tone as he steps forward to reveal himself. It seems to be Isaac’s accursed brother, his name being “Isaac the mad ” or “Isaac the vile ” given after he massacred a whole town while smiling with a devilish grin and laughing uncontrollably. After the massacre he had been disowned from the family but left behind a heavy stain on the family name. He also desecrated every town he went to, committing a felony at every step. He did arson, murder and worst of all genocide, he left no survivors, attacking at least 1 to 34 towns. Thus earning his final name “Isaac, the man butcher ”.
Dusk hears the words “Hello brother” creep out of his brother’s mouth as it echoes off the hall walls. He swiftly turns around but is met with darkness. The whole cathedral goes dark with no natural light shining through glass for the moon is shrouded in darkness. “No sign of Isaac” says Dusk, looking around anxiously. Dusk tightly holds a cross as he starts muttering verses from the bible like “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me”. A sudden feeling is felt in his pocket but he brushes it off. Dusk starts to breathe heavily as he hears footsteps around the hall then whistling is heard. It seems to be “London bridge is falling down” but slowed down and demented. That’s what it was at the beginning, Isaac walking towards the doors, whistling that tune. Isaac makes it sound sinister and filled with evil intent. He then starts singing in delight “St Johns cathedrals burning down, burning down, burning down, St Johns cathedrals burning down my fair lady~. Burn it down with sticks and fire, sticks and fire, sticks and fire, burn it down with sticks and fire my fair lady~”. He walks back and forth and then a sudden click noise is heard.
He continues to sing the threatening melody, Dusk sees his chance and dashes to the doors but to no avail, the doors are locked. He reaches for his keys but realises that there missing. “Looking for these?” says Isaac as he stops singing and jingles the keys. Dusk turns, only to see the red eyes of his brother. “Where I can’t see them” as Dusk feels around for a wall or something. He realises then that he’s fallen into a trap. “Let me help with that” as Isaac walks towards Dusk and “Shunk!!” Isaac stabs one of Dusk’s eyes out with the keys. A sudden urge to scream reaches Dusk’s mind but he’s silenced with a hand placed on his mouth. “Do You hear that, the sweet sound of silence,” says Isaac as he starts laughing maniacally with joy.
Dusk, trying not to scream, punches Isaac in the face and he hits the ground running. Dusk tears the key out of his eye socket and screeches with unimaginable pain. He unlocks the door, pushes the doors open and runs as fast as he can but trips over one of the guards bodies. He can smell the ghastly scent emanating from the corpses. With one eye open he looks back to see Isaac walking to his body, “How?!” thinks Dusk. He was surprised with how fast Isaac got up. So many thoughts went through his head but then he heard one of the worst things he could ever hear, a sound that would rock the sturdiest man to their core, A high pitched scream in his ears that nearly made him deaf projected from his brother’s mouth. He sat up in fright and saw his brother with a match. “Say goodbye to the cathedral brother, the one thing you were meant to protect.” Isaac cackles as he says that and throws the match at the cathedral but just then the fire is put out by the rain. Isaac tries again and again but fails.
Isaac’s smile grows and then he walks backwards and starts grabbing bodies and drags them inside. Dusk sees this but faints before he could say or do anything. He falls into a deep and calming sleep for about 30 minutes but then he is awakened by a sudden boom from the sky. He realises that it’s dark again and that he may still be dreaming but then he hears his brother again, humming the same tune. A burning aroma fills the atmosphere of the darkened place, it was at this moment Dusk noticed that he didn’t feel rain on his face. He looks up only to see a bright orange colour climb the roof of what appears to be the cathedral. He moves but struggles to get up as he’s bound wrist to wrist and foot to foot. He hears footsteps move towards him and he closes his eyes, calms his thoughts and stills his face. “Rise and die brother, rise and die” as Isaac forces Dusk’s eyelids open. Dusk starts to smell the same deathly smell but worse, he also begins to smell fire, taste ash and hear the crackling of it.
Isaac pulls out a mask which looked very strange, it felt weird and then in a shocked tone he says “Is that SKIN!”. Isaac starts rumbling about how he took skin from every victim and stitched it into a “beautiful mask” destined for the “Chosen one” and as he stops rambling he forces it onto Dusk’s face. Dusk yells for help but only gets a strong whiff of smoke. “Best be going now, got places to be, people to “surprise” says Isaac as he starts walking away but not before the doors close in on him. The archway collapses and a smile turns into something not seen on the face of Isaac the mad, something that would never be seen again. Fear, fear was seen that night and then all Isaac could hear was the laughing of his brother as he stands up managing to free himself from the rope. Time stands still as the brothers look in each-others eyes one final time, Isaac scared as Dusk smiles throughout the mask. “And so ends the foul stench of Isaac the man butcher” as Dusks raises his hands and pushes Isaac over and then blackout.
“The St Johns Cathedral has been reported to be burned down but still has much remaining, Victims seem to be 51 people including the Infamous Isaac the man butcher with one survivor god bless his soul, 44 year old Dusk Haroldson, brother to the Killer and Bishop of the Cathedral. He’s reported to have severe burns and got his eye stabbed out possibly by his brother. But thankfully he has survived the night and has now gone into recovery. We will get updates soon but this is the headline of NZ herald”. Ever since that fateful day, Dusk keeps his will and sanity in place not believing that his brother actually died. Checking every corner and waiting for the cathedral to be rebuilt.
_________________________________________________________________________________After a lot of nights up and a lot of hard work, I finally managed to finish my suspense writing, I call it “The night the bodies fell”. I made it as much as a thriller as I could and put as many twists in there as well. I also got some AI pictures of The two characters and the Cathedral. I hope you enjoy reading my story.